Thursday, September 29, 2011

Writing Assignment

Five things I like about myself:
I have always liked that I have such a giving heart. Not only do I love that I have a giving heart, I like that I can give without expecting anything in-return. The feeling I get from giving my time or gifts or volunteering is enough for me. It makes me feel like I made a difference.

I like my strong will. I never give-up. Sometimes I start to give-up, but then I dust myself off and get right back on my feet. I am always striving to obtain my goals, even if they seem unobtainable.

I like that I am a very social and outgoing person. This makes me very happy with myself. I am always surrounding myself with people, and I love that I have a lot of really great friends because of it.

I like my confidence. I think having good confidence is great for a person all around. So, I also like that I'm beautiful.

I love that I can connect with almost anyone I meet. I have many interests. So, I can always find something I have in common with anyone. It makes me a great people person.

5 Things I want to work on about myself:

I am in the process of losing weight. I want to lose some more. This is not just a physical thing, but it makes me feel better about myself to lose a few more pounds and tone-up some more. A better confidence promotes a better perspective on life and better attitude.

Also, I would like to work on my anger issues. Although my anger has become a lot more manageable over the past few years, I'm not to the finish line. I generally can control myself. There are just certain things I still struggle with.

A huge trigger for my anger is my jealousy. I would really like to work on this. I have never had an issue with it until I met Joell.

Another thing I would like to work on is being a more obedient submissive. I use to be a very subservient person. I had a natural and beautiful submissive nature about me. I am not sure where or how I lost it. I have some guesses, but I don't think that matters. I just want to find that part of me again.

The last thing I would like to work on, and this is very new to me. I would like to grow in my spiritual side. When I finally decided that I'm an Atheist a couple years ago, I thought I had to let go all spiritual aspects of my life. To be honest, that really screwed me up. My anger issues came out ten fold, and my happiness slowly  obliterated.

Monday, September 12, 2011

So, last night I lent an ear to a person. I enjoyed doing this. I always try to listen to people's problems, and I always try to help them without doing it for them. It makes me feel happy to know I have helped someone in this way. It helps with my confidence and makes me smile to know I've helped someone this way.
My anger has got out of control lately. I was getting so much better. Burning Man somehow changed that. I am not sure why. I don't know where I crossed over. I've been so angry lately. My anxiety is over the roof. I am going to spend three days away from Joell, and it's making me extra clingy and posessive, and I hate it!